I lost my purse while gardening with the Fresh Roots volunteers a few weekends ago. As usual, I am slow to blog, though have been meaning to jot down some thoughts.
First the facts; I had placed it on a picnic table in the community garden that Fresh Roots (see last years post) was overseeing, about 40 ft from where I was weeding carrot beds along with two other gardeners. It being a drizzly Saturday morning on school grounds, there was nary a soul to be seen but us dedicated gardeners. About an hour into work, two shady-looking characters came around our area while loudly announcing their search for a sports bag they'd left there previously. We downed tools and returned to the picnic table where all our belongings were and sure enough I noticed my purse already gone.
I confronted the suspects as politely as I could muster and explained that my bag was missing as well, and that they're the only people we'd seen all morning so kindly remain on scene while the authorities are called for appropriate actions. One man's reaction was theatrically insulted, howling about stereotypes and peppered with expletives as he made clear that he had little interest or involvement in my missing articles and only cared about the bag he'd carefully hid in our bushes three days ago. The other man took a seat at the picnic table as we informed both that the police are coming (note: police never came), was quiet and expressed condolences over my lost purse while denying any involvement as well. I could relate to leaving large heavy bags in public spaces hoping they'd be there upon my return - usually they were, but once or twice they were not. Grouchy guy remained feverishly searching for his lost bag, but both never left our sight.
I found the difference in attitude and subsequent behaviour between these two men fascinating. Grouchy guy fit the very _profile_ he was rallying against; independent from the homeless-drug-addict appearance that most passersbys would stigmatize, his language and conduct made him an overall unattractive person. Perhaps he chose that, subconsciously or otherwise. Quiet guy conducted himself with humility and patience that I feel all humans can both expect and afford to others, and in the end I shook his hand and wished him well in his travels. We may have distinctly different paths, but in uncertain times who knows from what conditions may we find ourselves in the same situation.
Sure they could've been lying straight to my face, but eroding myself with suspicion can only carry me so far. They were visibly not in immediate possession of my purse, had no bulges under their jackets and I had no grounds to search their persons or belongings. I also couldn't/wouldn't assault them, which perhaps more impulsive types would be inclined. They stayed on scene somewhat cooperatively for an hour awaiting cops that never came, and left after finding the contents of their sports bag in the school's dumpster.
I cancelled my bank+credit cards and phone, on a gardener's borrowed phone. We gardeners spent several hours searching and researching the premises, in case they ditched the purse to retrieve it after we'd left. A hole in the wire fence leading to an alley... a school playground... park nearby... the possibilities were endless. I searched around the block, spoke with some residents, and parted with the gardening duo leaving them to resume weeding carrot beds. I was not in the mood to weed anymore. I lost the contents of my purse, including my camera, phone, wallet, keys, etc., but the worst part is that my white bunny was on my bag, now likely unceremoniously ditched after travelling with me for a decade.
I went to the police station to make a declaration or file stolen property, not that I expected it'll do much good now since the main suspects got away... Filling out my personal details under the heading of VICTIM was somehow irritating. I waited to be served and my take-a-number ticket was 100, but displayed on the ticket was '00'. I somehow felt that symbolic, so I kept the ticket.
I went to the public library and emailed everyone to inform them of the theft and not to try reaching me on my phone - and almost immediately a friend emailed back with the offer of a phone he'd give me for free. I had a few offers of finding a new bunny too. More than any other time that afternoon it was at this point that I almost cried in that library, feeling very _rich_ in my few-but-strong friends that care about me. I was fortunate to already have established a dinner date that evening with a fella with keys to the apartment so I could go home. Fortunate again that I had bus passes on my bookshelf there to get out to Surrey to get a new phone within 24 hours. Fortunate I have enough cash at home to live off of till my cards are replaced. Fortunate that a special pendant I'd gotten for Christmas and had been ferrying around in my bag then was safely at home too.
In the days that followed, that I barrelled through with little concern of this as long as my important cards were cancelled, I nevertheless thought a great deal about it all. We assume that good things will happen to good people, and I felt I've been a good person - perhaps on the cosmic scale of things, was I not good enough? Could I have avoided this if I'd tipped my waitresses more? Or perhaps it was just my turn to fall, long overdue from my optimistically trusting travels. Or is it our limited view that regards this as necessarily a 'bad' thing - it was a bizarre liberation to have no phone, even briefly. It was kinda interesting to have no legally recognized 'identity' either, makes one examine what we chose to identify ourselves with - aside from being a number in Canada, I am also a friend, sister, daughter, among other roles that defy title or registration, that are far more important to me. What is necessary, and what we can do without. Perhaps this was a sign I was somehow too dependant on my supplies/resources/equipment I lug around in my purse, preparing for every eventuality except theft. I consider it more of a test/challenge than a bad thing (aside from costs incurred in replacing things). I am also patient, and have faith that over time I will accumulate back that which was lost.
