Thursday, December 28, 2017

For Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone. You know I'm not an overly boisterous person so if I'm not the classical definition of  'merry' I would at least strive for some reasonable steadiness even?
As usual I've avoided as much gross commercialism for the holidays as I can, and have focused my attention on a few homemade crafts for gifts.  I made a beaded Christmas spider.  I made chocolate rabbit pins for my rabbit people, inspired by the Make Mine Chocolate campaign to raise awareness for live rabbits (and by extension all pets) being given as gifts and subsequently abandoned after the novelty's worn off.  Originally they were vague rabbit silhouettes made of brown ceramic tiles, mine are done larger with more definition made with oven-bake polymer clay.  I made a few and those left may be treasures to find in a geocache I hope to publish next spring.  Maybe.
Christmas I spent with my family at their house for a few days.  I got to decorate a pre-fab gingerbread house (while my nephew plucked the candies off the roof, there was little interest/patience in the activity itself).  I colored in his new coloring book with new crayons.  I'm not very familiar with Thomas the Tank Engine and surely got the colors wrong, but it seemed mildly entertaining for a time. I have an _adult_ coloring book at home but with small shapes defined by outlines it leaves little imagination for tonal shading of surfaces or suggested textures. So here is my offering anyway, enjoy. 
Now I'm back downtown with my adult coloring book, and will meditatively try not to overthink it, commit to the action of doing rather than the finished result.  Eventually I'll find a subject and ambition enough to use my new pad of watercolor paper, to make something both loose yet precise, with flowing pooling pigment but crisp edges, subtle and pale.
Honestly I'm not looking forward to the new year as it will hold several anniversaries of painful discouraging times.  Perhaps I can drown them out with distractions, like a crow with something shiny - curious and attractive yet most likely useless.  I know it's all tied to my attitude and perspective - and no one else can fix that for me - nevertheless some days are more difficult than others.  I still consider myself very privileged and lucky, even when it doesn't feel like it.  I guess the key is gratitude, and to be grateful for the blessings who still choose to be in my life.