Stillness, yet restless.

This will be a brief, simple post.  Just to say I've done it.  I've successfully kept up my new year's resolution from two years ago, to post at least once a month.  I suppose I *do* more, and more *happens* to me than I report here in cyberspace for my tiny readership, but only some details do I feel particularly noteworthy.
Now is another strange quiet-time.  Perhaps because the weather's turned damp and grey, though I can't complain since we had such an unexpectedly beautiful November last year.  Or maybe it's just the lull after the Christmas holidays.  Christmas was quiet with my parents, I'm glad to visit them and sad to leave, no matter how long I stay for.  I've had a few emails from those that float in the periphery, pleasant shadows from my past that thought of me long enough to send a note.  Some of my online friends are busy or otherwise have disappeared, and I do miss them a bit.  People in my life are gearing up their plans for the upcoming year, as am I, yet it seems like the drifting away (even temporarily) is more noticeable lately.
To those that I love, I hope you know that I love you.

The next exciting plan to look forward to is my trip to Mexico to see the Monarch migration.  I've purchased my plane tickets now, dates are set Feb 16-Mar 4, so now I'm going come hell or high water.  I've had an overall great time on my last excursions, and am with practice and discipline becoming a more savvy traveller, comfortable with what I am capable of and accepting that I'll get out of it whatever I put into it.  There is a fine line between planning and spontaneity; I still have some research to do and will try to contact some locals down there, but won't overthink it too much till I'm there.
Being alone seems the most non-confrontational way to make my own decisions without it conflicting with others' plans, or stepping on their toes - if I really want it done I will do it myself, or else I can't be surprised when plans don't come to fruition.  My new year's resolution is not as obvious as it has been in the past few years, this year is more to simply do what I want to do.  It's less a matter of selfishness (at least that I'm consciously aware of), it's about preserving some level of pride and autonomy and self-reliance so I'm not constantly swept along with the group or what someone else assumes I'm fine with.  So I can experience/produce something in my life, and feel like I'm not just treading water.